10 Social Networks That Are in Your Future A List of Inevitable Social Media Apps

Funny Future Social Networks by Marc Hartzman

Facebook. Twitter. Google+. Instagram. LinkedIn. Tumblr. Flickr. Myspace.

We are so busy.

However, there’s always room and more time to waste for the next big thing. Glue that mobile device to your hand a little tighter and get ready for the next generation of social networks you won’t be able to live without:

1. Walkr – Sign in and get instant alerts when you’re about to walk into something while staring at your phone.

2. Airogram – Similar to an old-fashioned aerogram, Airogram ensures everyone knows where and when you’re flying and instantly posts your obligatory photo from the plane. It’s the quickest way to publicize when you won’t be home.

3. Selfist – Pin your best selfies. You better Photoshop them though. This is a straight up beauty contest.

4. Narcissist – The competitor to Selfist—for the more sophisticated egoist.

5. Twit – For those who crave brevity, enjoy Twitter cut in half. 70 char., max.

6. Viciniti – This location-based service informs you when your friends are physically standing three feet away or closer, so you can chat in person without ever looking up. A simple alert lets you know when they’ve left so you can seamlessly return to your omnipresent digital pals.

7. InstaCat – Filters out any nonsense about babies, vacations, major world events, and loved ones and fills your feed with what matters—cats.

8. ClosedTable – A network for restaurants to rate customers. Bad tippers, complainers, and food snobs beware or be blackballed.

9. WasteBoard – Get timely alerts during any unexpected moments of productivity to provide distractions and facilitate your time-wasting efforts.

10. MeMe – As in “Me Me” not “meme.” This is your opportunity to create a page that’s all about you, where your every move is documented and every emotion and/or thought is posted. Oh wait, that already exists.

Now if you’ll pardon me, I’m off to meet with a group of angel investors.

Marc Hartzman is author of our Anti-Social Network Journal ($14) and contributing Knock Knock blog writer. Check out his other hilarious posts here and enjoy his musings on how social networking has affected life as we know it—for better or worse!