20 Fake Swear Words You Should Definitely Start Using Your (Faux) Curse Words Make Us So Proud

Fake SwearsRecent Update (February 10, 2015):

Your submissions of fake swear words tickled our funny bone so much it inspired us to create a Fake Swears book. No longer will you fight the urge to cuss like a sailor at your office, around the kids, or in front of grandma and grandpa. Our new phrasebook is full of clean vulgarity that are just as expressive as traditional cuss words. It’s the book that will have both pottymouths and puritans cussing up a collective storm!


After we posted our “I can’t swear with these freaking kids around—what should I say instead?” flowchart from Inconsequential Dilemmas on FB yesterday (see a screen shot of it below), we received a flurry of responses. So we posed this question: What’re your favorite fake-swear words that you use daily? And the results lead us to believe you all like to swear (and non-swear) just as much as we do. Shiznits!

Click the pic to see the entire list.

We pulled 20 of the 57 from the list to highlight a few of our faves, but it just skims the surface. Sift through the entire log here and use them in your next verbal spat (there are lots of animals and “mothers” thrown around):

1. “Holy schnikes!”

2. “Bob Saget.”

3. “Shostakovich.”

4.  “Son of a motherless goat!”uff.com

5. “Mother Pussbucket!”

6. “Holy shitake mushroom!”

7. “Son of rum puncher.”

8. “Fahrvergnügen!”

9. “What the fun!”

10. “Gordon Bennett!”

11. “Sweet blue blazes!”

12. “Holy Shatner!”

13. “Rigga, ragga, fragga!”

14. “Who in the ham-fat?!”

15. “Frak.”

16. “Mice!”

17. “Gorram.”

18. “Poughkeepsie!”

19. “For the Love of Benji!”

20. “Dirty Cuss Word.”

Do you have a fake-swear word to add? Share it with us in this post’s comment section.

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