As we commence into Halloween weekend (and don’t you worry, we have a special post coming your way on Monday!), I thought it would be appropriate to imagine what this holiday would be like if instead of chocolate, grown-ups handed out Knock Knock products to trick-or-treaters (since our products can be sweet like candy and as ghoulish as . . . Halloween-themed candy wrappers).
Here are five Halloween-approved products that should be shared on Hallow’s Eve:
1. The Complete Manual of Things That Might Kill You Our book has been refreshing hypochondriacs’ fears before Contagion was even conceived. Take that, Jude Law.
2. I’m Going to Die Journal This journal is the newest (and probably darkest) among its Inner-Truth siblings. And did know you that it’s been reviewed on a zombie site? That’s right.
3. Paper Voodoo Pad We hope you’ve been kind and amiable to everyone around you. You never know when someone will suddenly want to use this pad on you.
4. Hey Asshole Pad Don’t you hate it when rude teenagers go door-to-door, aren’t dressed up, and still expect to receive candy in their pillowcases? You should hand these sheets out instead.
5. Hangover Recovery Kit Forget the trick-or-treating. We know what Halloween weekend is really about—costume parties. Feel free to get carried away and recuperate with this kit.