Knock Knock’s Top 5 Most-Used Curse Words of 2011 Peek Into Knock Knock’s Product Profanity List

. . . Just an update: so, these aren’t all curse words. In fact, some of these words may not even be offensive (well, maybe only to the straight-edged peeps). But blame my overdose from holiday cookies for writing that misleading headline (and just pretend it says “Knock Knock’s Top 5 Dirty Words of 2011).

Buried in our company’s server, amid the vast archive of product, marketing, and business docs, is the Knock Knock “2011 Profanity List”; it’s the electronic hub where the creative folk literally count “shit” (and the number of other obscenities throughout our books and journals) for the sales team to use. The list, which creative started in 2008, holds more power than you would think.

Curious as to why it’s vital for us to count our “fucks” and “assholes”? Offensive content, as in one too many “WTFs”, could essentially make or break a buy.

We understand each customer has his or her own curse-word threshold. Therefore, our kick-ass sales team tries to make sure (to the best of their ability) that each store is satisfied with the product on his or her floors (and preventing the token angry mobs with pitchforks).

Indeed, we realize that tallying the number of “bitches” included in product isn’t the typical protocol for a business. Feel free to flag that as unique.

So for all you guys curious to know how many curse words we used in 2011, here’s the breakdown:

And for the prudes that think size doesn’t matter, here’s the proof:

1. Hell (41)
2. Orgasm (29)
3. Bitch (17)
4. Ass (15)
5. Penis (15)

Lastly, we give a hearty nod to our Sex Chit-Chat for All Occasions, for having the most vulgarity. (“Orgasm” is included more than seventeen times—for good reason.)

As we wrap up the year (and all of this dirty talk), we hope you all have a hell of an orgasmic, bitch and ass-free New Year’s (with or without penises).