Stuff I’d Give to the Cast of Beauty and the Beast . . . It’s Friday, Why Not?

Last night I caught a showing of Beauty and the Beast in 3D. (And when I write, “Caught a showing,” I mean I willingly paid $16 to watch a snippet of my childhood flash before my eyes.)

Throughout the movie, my mind wandered to irrelevant places (not out of boredom—heavens, no—just out of habit). I started to think about what the personalities of our own products would be like if they too suffered under an enchanted spell. Then, I started to think about which of our products I’d give each character, since they’re an archetype of people I know in my own life. (I’d give Belle the Personal Library Kit, the Beast the Apology Nifty Note, Maurice the Idea Life Log, Lumiere the What to Eat Pad, Coggsworth the Passive-Aggressive Nifty Note, Mrs. Potts the I’m A Parent? Journal, and Chip the This or That? Activity Book, FYI.)* I’m telling you, this is really what was going on in my brain throughout the “Belle Reprise.”

However, I did notice two things as I watched the beloved Disney “classic” (it’s a classic to me, but if it’s not to you, our age gap is the enemy here):

  1. This story is very much a kid-friendly lesson on the effects of Stockholm syndrome.
  2. Gaston was much more of a douchebag than I remembered.

In fact, if Gaston were real, I would heartily hand our Hey Asshole Pad to him:

Hey Asshole Pad by Knock Knock

. . . Right? He’s the worst.

Anyways, have a “magical” weekend, friends!

*I would have used photos with the actual Beauty and the Beast characters alongside our products to give you some visual representation. But dealing with the repercussion of possibly stepping on the toes of intellectual property rights (especially with all the online crackdowns going on) would take more from my life than the ten minutes it took me to write this post.